DOITGIRL

Awakening the Divine Feminine.
Un-earthing Feminine Wisdom.
Avalonian.
Priestess.
Goddess.
Flame Keeper.


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TODAY’S DIG DIARY: LET ME TELL YOU HOW THIS THING ENDS

 
whispers
laurie cabot magic whisper. Monday, April 23: Wear Red. It’s a lucky day, leave food for the faeries.
dig whisper. go slow. slower still. like, army crawl on the ground. 
song. "How it Ends," Devotchka

DeVotchKa - How It Ends Official VideoDeVotchKa - How It Ends Official Video

DOITGIRL. 
 "How is this going to play out?" He asked.

Don’t you know? I wanted to say. It will end. It will die. It will pass. This is how it all plays out and this is how it all ends, it dies. Sooner or later, this will end. 

 

  

"Don’t resist anything," said the ocean last night. None of it: the darkness or the light. The fear, the pain, or the loss. The beauty, joy, or love. Don’t resist any part of your life. Let it all in. When I resist fear I resist love. When I resist pain I resist joy. You cannot have one with out the other. So allow it all. 

  

I don’t know about you but most of my pain comes from regret: from not loving or living enough when that thing or person was in the palm of my hands, when it was ripe and alive and ready. I don’t want that for you. If you are one of the lucky and blessed enough to have someone you love nearby, Go hold them until your breath synchs up together. Breathe deeply together in silence, then tell them you love them forever, in the flesh for now but forever in spirit.  

 

Had I not tried in vain to stall the seasons of my life. Had I only let the river continue to carry me without grasping like a mad woman at the passing shore. Had I only let my fiance go when he first put his foot out the door. Had I only allowed the information the doctors gave me: that mom was leaving for Heaven: even as they told me, I denied it, buried in illusion, and eventually caused myself so much more suffering. Had I not fought so hard to keep my world exactly the way I wanted it and the same forever in my tiny ego-mind. It’s all that devastating, terrified attachment that causes so much suffering. I didn’t love my mother enough in the present, when her sweet fleshly body breathed and walked. So when she died, I was obsessed with the past, wanting it back so badly, wanting my do-over. I brutalized and chastized myself for years for not loving her enough in the moment. I lived in the past for almost ten years, aching for her back so I could show her how much I loved her. That’s what causes so much pain, that ugly black-tar remorse. Love now, not later. Love now fully, there is no later. Don’t resist the information you are given. Don’t resist your mortality, experience it. Allow the truth to settle into your bones and make you wiser, stronger, and more awake. Don’t be afraid that we die and everything else does too, let it embolden you, let it enliven you. [“Go for it now, the future is promised to no one.” Neale Donald Walsch] 

 

I wish for you to enter each experience knowing it is fleeting. I wish for you to hold each person and animal knowing they will die. To know it will die- Gracie, me, Dad, my sister, my loved ones- is to really love them while they are here. I wish for you to love it and live it with all your heart while it’s there, while its heart beats, the relationship, the person, the moment. 

 

Stay present, stay present, stay present. If you are fearful, you are in the future, you are not here in the moment. Your longing for the past and your fear of future change will break your heart. You can only love now, you can only live now. It may seem like a curse but it’s actually a blessing. Look around: everything in your life right now is only for a flickering moment. The good and the bad, love it all. Gather up your loved ones before time takes them away. Gather up your loved ones before the earth gathers them back. Gather up your life before it’s a dream, a desire, before it’s only a memory. Don’t be fooled: we know how all of this will end. In dust, in memories. I see time’s marks on my face, I have buried enough loved ones’ to know where this fleshly body is eventually headed, back into the ground. And it’s the most powerful information one can process, that it all passes, and so do you. 

 

That the end is coming is definite and real. But here’s the real mystery and the real adventure: Now what? What will you do with it while you have it and you’re here? Here’s what I know: You can do absolutely anything you want with it. Anything. 

 

You can do anything you want. Choice is your greatest weapon, your greatest power. Choose love. Choose life, choose Now, Choose your dreams. 

So for now I am here, allowing my life and the full extent of the earthly experience. Wherever the tides take me. That is my promise to this life. I already know, whether it’s tomorrow or in fifty years, this will end in loss. So I love now, so that I may let it go with grace when the time comes, without regret. This is where enlightenment meets earthly love. This is my answer for now, love now, so I may one day let it go with grace. So that one day I myself may go with grace. 

This life is a bridge we walk that disappears behind us with each step. If you try to reach behind yourself, you will fall. We are only fully supported in the moment.

If there is one thing I know it’s that nothing has killed me yet. That I have a fleshy body but an indestructible, infinite, ancient spirit. I am built for storms. I can handle loss. I can let you go. I invite the unknown. I can love in the now. Don’t lie to yourself: you know how this thing ends: and that’s that it does, indeed, end. 

MARY OLIVER, IN BLACKWATER WOODS. 

  

 

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
 

STARS. 

STARCANA COSMIC DIRT with SUZI CAVALLO. After a weekend of aligning ourselves with the New Moon in Taurus, Luna shifts this afternoon into free-spirited Gemini. A fresh of breath air to reconnect with life is the perfect remedy for the soul. During the Gemini Moon, this is favorable energy for short trips and errands, phone calls, socializing, communications, letter writing, learning, speeches, bouncing ideas, sales, and connecting with friends. Later this evening, feelings can confuse us as Moon squares dreamy Neptune and reactive Mars. A burst of energy will begin to take shape as Sun trines fireball Mars, boosting our confidence and willpower to achieve our goals. “…and more stronger than a locomotive. Look, up in the sky. Is it a bird, is it a plane…”? We’re leading ourselves onto successful path to come out winning, and we’re pleasing our audience. ”It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up”. Muhammad Ali. Tarot guidance from Six of Wands rx, Seven of Swords rx: Fight the urge to cheat. 


MOON. 
Phase: Waxing Crescent. 

Waxing Moon means the moon is getting larger in the sky, moving from the New Moon towards the Full Moon. This is a time for spells that attract, that bring positive change, spells for love, good luck, growth. This is a time for new beginnings, to conceptualize ideas, to invoke. At this time the moon represents the Goddess in her Maiden aspect, give praise to Epona, Artemis or one of the other Maiden Goddesses. The period of the waxing moon lasts about 14 days.

'…as the moon waxes and wanes, 
and walks three nights in darkness, 
so the Goddess once spent three nights
in the kingdom of Death.’

 
"Moon of Regeneration"
Location: Moon is 45 - 90 degrees ahead of the Sun

Span:
Three and a half days after to seventh day. The Moon appears to be partly but less than one-half illuminated by direct sunlight. The fraction of the Moon’s disk that is illuminated is increasing.
Positive activities:
Gathering information; Making plans; Laying a Foundation; Emotions; Start of change. This is a time of regeneration. Anything you do to strengthen your body, to fortify yourself, is much more effective that when the moon is waxing. The body absorbs more easily…both good and bad.

Goals:
Gathering resources / information needed for your goals. Relates to the gathering of food by the seeds, so initial plans and actions, starting small, are now happening.

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